A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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