You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
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Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
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You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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