Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
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He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
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They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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