brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
