I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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