There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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