U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude i'm inner monologue high
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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