didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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