i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
