I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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