so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
