the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
