i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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