well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
where am i from again
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
