You're a womanizer and a bitch.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
