don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
