I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize