how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
