I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
