Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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