So drunk its hurt
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I could fuck to npr.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
