i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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