dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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