I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The air was thick with penises
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
