More tranny stories later!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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