I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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