He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
