if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Randomize
