all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
