thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
