This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize