the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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