After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize