I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
