his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
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I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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