Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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