I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
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You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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