You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
