Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
