it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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