The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
