I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
