I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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