Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
