It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
