Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You are the jesus of drinking
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
