What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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