He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize