Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
