adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
