On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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