This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So many bounce houses so little time
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
