? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
they need to just BURY HIM!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
