sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
