There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
