The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
