he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
