So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
