You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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