i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
